Young-ish lecturer “actually kind of hot?”, according to desperate, squinting fresher
With an attractive lecturer being a rare and welcome sight, one hapless, myopic and romantically vacant first year felt it necessary to reach out to The Whip, informing us that she has eyed up a possible Mr Right.
First locking eyes with her new Romeo in a first-year English module on Shakespeare’s sonnets, Luna De Fanta told us that Professor Macpherson “seems like such a free spirit”. But there’s more to this tale than meets the eye.
“I have a confession to make”, De Fanta explained. “I don’t wear my contacts or specs to lecs, haha – that rhymes! They’re a clunky and distracting addition to my beautiful face. Plus, if I can barely see, I can barely see the professor’s aesthetic inadequacies!”
“Essentially, I am granted fifty whole minutes just to gaze at a medium-sized male, with short dark-ish hair, in what I think is a shirt, talking about literature, it’s what I pay my nine grand for. You don’t get this in the Lola’s smoking area, I’m all about the soft boys.”
It wasn’t just De Fanta who spotted this would-be hunk. Another English first year, who wishes to remain nameless, had this to say: “ProfMac, as we like to call him, is a bit of tease! He arrives with his shirt tucked in but his sleeves rolled up. This is an inimitable, alluring and sexy toss-up between the popular dress codes of ‘smart’ and ‘casual’! Sometimes he even slips on a pair of jeans, or as I like to call them, denim pantaloons.”
The Whip has reached out to Professor Macpherson, who is traceable on a variety of popular social networking sites. He said: “It’s great really, I’m a bit of an introverted bookworm at heart, I thought these squinting youngers were just very sleepy! It’s great to hear I get their pulses going… but not in a weird way!”.
Refusing to sit any closer to the front, through fear of ruining the illusion, De Fanta remains content to gawp longingly from the back of the lecture theatre, at least for the time being.
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form