Fresher accidentally makes enough spaghetti bolognese to feed the 5,000
Theology student Rebecca Cook left her flatmates in shock and awe as she managed to produce 5,000 portions of spaghetti bolognese, using a 7.7 litre stock pot from Argos.
“I was only trying to organise a meal plan for the week, but it turns out I’m the second coming!” she informed The Whip.
“Normally my half-used passatta cartons sit at the back of the fridge until someone kicks up a fuss. I never realised using a full one could feed a crowd of biblical proportions.”
Rebecca’s flatmates are attempting to comprehend the implications of her newfound eminence. Self-proclaimed ‘banter king’, Connor from Wigan, changed her group chat nickname to ‘Messiah’. Connor is currently awaiting recognition as a ground-breaking young comedian.
Neighbour Jodie, from Bath, is reported to have commented, “it makes sense, really. Her and Jesus do both have long brown hair.”
When asked about her next miracle, Rebecca said that three weeks ago she left the dregs of an open echo falls bottle on her kitchen counter, which may or may not have turned into vinegar.
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form