“In fact, Frankenstein was the doctor,” corrects English student screaming into the void


The 31st of October has long been a tough day for the smug and pedantic amongst us, as figures from the Anglophonic literary tradition are stripped of their original meaning in order to facilitate what is essentially a festival of hedonism and consumer capitalism: Halloween.

No more is this true, than with Mary Shelley’s character of Frankenstein’s Monster, who is so often referred to as just Frankenstein.

In light of this, many of these pedants see it their responsibility to inform people that Frankenstein was not, in fact, the monster but the Doctor, acting both to make you feel stupid and to reinforce how much better read and more interesting they are than you.

For one English student this constant cycle of correction became too much.

“Frankenstein is not the monster!” screamed first year English student Herbert Tahini, to no one in particular, when The Whip approached him for a ‘chat’.

“It fundamentally changes the nature of the work,” continued Tahini, starting to shake uncontrollably.

“Shelley’s gothic masterpiece is more a study of the human rather than the inhuman, acting as a mirror held up against society in the context of human scientific endeavour. That’s whys it’s CALLED Frankenstein, and that’s why Frankenstein CANNOT be the monster.” Tahini screamed, his voice echoing through The Parkinson Court as a third vein popped on his now red and blotchy forehead.

“I want people to understand this, and more importantly, I want people to understand that I understand this.”

The English student then literally exploded, after overhearing a passer-by ask her friend to be more “pacific.”

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