“Rugby is a hooligan’s game played by gentlemen” smirks man about to drink own piss

A smug rugby fan has made an unsubstantiated claim of moral superiority over football supporters, The Whip can confirm.

Richard Head, who plays in the second team for his village rugby club, made the statement earlier this morning as he lapped up a warm mixture of Carling and urine from between a teammate’s arse cheeks.

“You just don’t see the same level of sportsmanship in football” said Mr Head, vomiting into his own pint glass. “they’re a bunch of overpaid princesses who dive at the slightest touch.”

“Rugby is the real beautiful game” he continued, inserting a plastic funnel into his anus whilst opening a can of Fosters. “I’d like to see Rooney try and smash the All Blacks, the big-eared prick.”

The Whip spoke to ‘sports scientist’ Gene Eric for his views on the matter:

“Everyone knows that the game of rugby is an ill-disguised excuse for emotionally repressed men to embark on homoerotic endeavours. It’s even more embarrassing when they try and play the virtuous athlete part.”

“They are right about football fans though. Bunch of troglodytes.”