‘Cool’ seminar tutor concerned he hasn’t said swear word this hour

Students reportedly grew unnerved after entering the room to find that no politically charged YouTube clip was playing

Many students will be aware of a supposedly ‘cool’ seminar tutor on their course, but one University of Bristol English tutor has come forward to The Whip this morning after it emerged that he failed to emit a single swear word during his seminar on 1960s’ Confessional Poetry.

The man in question, Prof. Jerome Clinton admitted not only to not swearing but remaining seated behind the desk throughout the hour, keeping the conversation religiously on the text in hand with little to no reference to the student’s individual feelings and experiences.

Further concerns were raised by Clinton’s students themselves, who reportedly grew unnerved after entering the room on Woodland Road to find that no politically charged YouTube clip was playing on the whiteboard.

“I just didn’t have anything in the reading to link it to. I couldn’t find the connection. And it made me wonder, maybe the past isn’t relevant at all. Maybe we’re just different, they were just them then and we’re us now. Crikey…”

This change in behaviour has apparently come about as part of a general drive by the university to make tutors less and less interesting so that students will focus their attention on the course itself.

“Recently, we’ve become aware of these charismatic, attractive and engaging professors trying to distract students from the course by talking about life. We’re fed up of these hot priest, dead poet types, and intend to return to a more standard, less fun way of doing things. It’s time for the university to return to a more traditional, prejudiced way of teaching. No not like that.”, Vice Chancellor Hugh Brady told The Whip.

Effects of the campaign are already in full swing as the university intends to crack down on things that make students’ lives a bit easier; other changes include removing the lifts from senate house and making Eduroam just about not reach the outside of a building when you need to go for a cig.

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