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New Zealand Wines threatened by potential arrival of new off-licence Tasmanian Tins

All the way from down under!

New Zealand Wines, a Fallowfield off-licence famed for its impossibly cheap Echo Falls deals, almost definitely counterfeit tobacco and general miscreant air, is under threat from the potential opening of another shop all the way from down under, Tasmanian Tins.

The Whip can report that an undisclosed site in Fallowfield has been purchased by Duty Definitely Paid Holdings, the parent company of Tasmanian Tins. The arrival of the new shop, which promises “wine prices so good they’ll make you sick”, will add pressure to New Zealand Wines in a year that has already seen them raided by armed police.

The proliferation of southern hemisphere-originating offies can be attributed to their exotic aura, or maybe the grapes there are cheaper, reckons Oak House resident and Geography student Martin Clark.

“I think there’s something about the name, ‘New Zealand Wines’, it just sounds so real, so authentic, so Oceanic. No wonder the boys over the Tasman Sea decided they should have a shot at Fallowfield.

“The wine must be so cheap because they import it direct from their vineyards in New Zealand. There’s no other way. Do they even have vineyards in New Zealand?

“The two bottles of Echo Falls for a fiver deal that New Zealand do is so cheap it’s less than the tax they pay on the bottles. I hope the Tasmanian Tins guys do the same. Unless… do you think they don’t pay tax?

“Whatever. I’m an avid Labour supporter, fuck the billionaires and all that, but if tax evasion gets me trollied on a night out for cheap then I’m all for it.”

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