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Oxley student can’t wait to move to Leeds in second year

From the sticks to LS6.

After spending a few months adjusting to the bustling suburbs of West Yorkshire, having moved from perhaps the deadest of the home counties dead ends, rural Hampshire, to the deadest of uni halls, Oxley, one student cannot wait to make the next step in their slow, painful progression towards the real world and actually move to Leeds, The Whip can report.

Bracing herself for the incoming culture shock is current Oxley resident, Sophia Seeded-Batch, who was able to Skype our reporter earlier today.

However, having nearly survived a term just off the Otley road, where, if students squint hard enough, they can almost succeed in convincing themselves that they did indeed get into Durham, The Whip found Sophia practically bursting with optimism at the prospect of emerging from the sticks and entering LS6.

“Crikey, I AM excited,” the softly, and irritatingly slowly, spoken southerner began, “I spent a year travelling, Namibia, Cambodia and the like, you know, so I tend to think of myself as like, totally open to new experiences, you know. Hopping on the bus to campus has been like, such an enjoyable, eye opening experience.

“To think that next year, I’ll be living amongst such amenities as a ‘Lycamobile,’ a ‘Best One,’ and a ‘kebab shop.’ Now I know why everyone says second year is the best, it’s going to be so… exotic!”

The Whip wishes Seeded-Batch well in her quest for the ‘authentic’ Leeds experience, although one suspects it is not to be found living in a house with six other home counties expats, sustained by a weekly Ocado delivery and a friendship with the local cat.

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