Boy waiting for Tinder date quickly checks phone to brush up on invented personality

With more people than ever meeting online, dating apps remain fraught with risk. One Tinder user, Miles Howard, revealed to The Whip that forgetting his constructed identity almost cost him a mediocre shag.

Miles and Isabella had matched just over a week prior in the early hours of Saturday morning, having both just returned from their respective mates’ DJ sets in the basements of two different Chinese restaurants. One tentative “u up?” was all it took to get the conversation flowing and after just 2 days of talking it was clear how much they had in common. “We both hated single-use plastic and loved the Labour Party, it was so meant to be.” Miles explained.

He was of course, lying about both of those things. Miles is a ride or die conservative, whose bags for life seldom last a week. “Dating is all about connecting with new people. If I have to be a different person myself to do that successfully, then so be it.

“The problem arose when I got to the bar for our date and realised I was wearing a V-neck jumper. They scream Tory, and I have 12,” Miles recounted. Scrolling anxiously through the chat he hid the jumper under his chair and quickly chucked away the straw from his gin and tonic.

“Thankfully she was late. Women are always late.”

Miles says that the experience has taught him a lot about the potential dangers of online dating and has this to say to our readers:

“Be whoever you want to be but always remember who you said you were, or you might end up losing a quite peng Ralph Lauren jumper”.