Most useless person on your course planning a startup

Reports are coming in thick and fast that 20 year old Hunter Mortymer-Smyth-Blythe is planning, after scraping through his summer retakes, to sidestep the barriers of formal education between himself and an executive position in a Fortune 500 company. How? By simply launching his own.

The ambitious second year has reportedly unveiled plans for the company to revolve around “an app.” Despite having no experience with programming, frequently losing the files he saves in random locations on his MacBook Pro and falling asleep whilst attempting to watch “The Social Network,” Mr Mortymer-Smyth-Blyth remains optimistic.

“It’s going to sort of be a crossover between like, Uber and Whatsapp, right? So think, like, Bumble but everyone swipes first and also there’s like, no data security,” he told the Whip after being tracked down in the Motion smoking area. When pressed on the profit model of his new application he told our reporter it would rely on “machine learning and big data,” to generate a profit.

“I’m honestly not surprised,” said top-performing state school alumni Kathrine Melrose. “He talks incessantly about how Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg dropped out –  without seeming to realise they were too smart for uni, not the other way round.”

At time of press Mr Mortymer-Smyth-Blyth’s as yet untitled app had received £280,000 in seed funding from his father’s venture capital firm.