Bristol Featured

Arts students finally take flight as strong breeze hits Woodland Road

A breathtaking phenomenon.

As the nights draw closer and winter takes its hold upon the UK, one beautiful natural phenomenon exists to provide a silver lining: the bi-annual migration of the University’s Arts Faculty.

When term is almost over, the students flock together by the Hawthorns, then execute the Naruto run in synchrony down Woodland Road.

Using their long woollen coats as wings, they slowly begin to ascend and fly in a V-formation towards London, where one by one they peel off and dive down to their relevant Home Counties’ suburbia.

Our privilege correspondent Trustafaria Dunce was on hand to shed some light onto this remarkable behaviour:

“Students fly South-East in search of milder climates, nutritious food, and more comfortable nesting grounds.

“Many of them also migrate to end relationships with long term partners, and to declare everyone from their hometown a bigot because they haven’t read any of Judith Butler’s work on gender performativity.”

Come January the students will return, having decried Christmas as a consumer capitalist hoax, but totally unprepared for their impending exams.

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