Bare-knuckle boxer Ben Stokes wins Sports Personality of the Year
Bare-knuckle boxer Ben Stokes has been crowned the BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2019, in an event celebrating a year of sporting achievement.
Stokes, whose most famous fight took place at the legendary Clifton Triangle Arena, as he bravely defended himself by breaking his opponent’s eye socket, celebrated his achievement surrounded by friends and family at an awards ceremony in Aberdeen.
With an unorthodox pre-match routine, which includes heavy drinking and smoking, it is fitting that such a colourful character finally be given the recognition he deserves.
Other award contenders included Manchester City star Raheem Sterling, nominated after yet another successful year of looking a bit like a T-Rex when he runs.
Stokes will now be hoping to build on his success in the coming year, with plans already underway to achieve his next great sporting milestone: battering a racist outside La Rocca. A leaked Rocky-style training montage video shows him outside the Triangle club sparring with men dressed like members of the EDL, with a source close to Stokes explaining that this is how he gets himself ‘up for scrapping some fucking racists.’
While future achievements are certainly on the horizon, for the time being at least, Ben Stokes will be celebrating his latest sporting achievement.
- 1Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 4Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 5Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation