Despite plans later for a party in Parliament Square as the clock hits 11pm (a celebration that promises to have all the personality of a dusty cough), ‘Brexit Day’ has failed to live up to the hype. Whether a fan or not, Brexiteers and Remainers alike were left underwhelmed by this wet, depressing ending to a previously high-octane political psychodrama.
Comparable with HBO’s fantasy show Game of Thrones, Brexit’s finale, after years of rumours and rewrites, went out on an uncharacteristic whimper.
It might have been delayed, had the occasional spoiler leaked online, and sparked mass outrage as colourful characters were ejected from the whole process, but finally, through blood, sweat and tears, Brexit has arrived.
There is a mix of emotions, and The Whip was out today to gauge the reaction of the British public.
Brexiteer Harold Hamhock had some particularly strong feelings: “Three words: Disappointing. Anticlimactic. Disillusioned. I was ready to have a proper Big British Brexit,” he fumed “but instead they’ve tried to please everyone, and we’ve ended up with this lukewarm mess.
“It’s just a slap in the face for the hardcore fans, who’ve supported Bo Jo for so many years against the critics, and it has failed to live up to expectations after three years of being hyped up.”
Representing the more clueless members of society, Samantha Samengo-Smith breathed a sigh of relief. “To be honest, I’m glad it’s all over. For years my news feed has been taken over by these niche memes and articles that I don’t understand.
“The only things I have taken away from it is that some people don’t want the big blue-eyed guy in charge, some people are shitting themselves trying to get a rewrite, and some people are still upset that they got rid of the grey-haired lady.”
At the time of writing, Harold’s petition to redo Brexit had been started online, but this time with ‘new lawmakers’ who would stick to Nigel Farage’s ‘true vision’ of what Brexit Britain should be.