Post-exam employment boom for opaque pencil cases

With the bitter cold, winter bite of January came the ever-present threat of exams. Students across the university took great pleasure in complaining about their stress and revision. However, it is easy to overlook the true victims of exam season, those who are left jobless and destitute, struggling to support and feed their children: non-transparent pencil cases.

Easily overlooked victims of the modern university examination system, we spoke to a number of pencil cases about their experiences in order to gain an inside understanding of the effects of this surge of unemployment, whose blue acrylic Chelsea F.C. branding has rendered it redundant in this cut-throat industry. It told us: ‘All those damn cheap, pencil cases coming over here stealing our jobs. The thing is with transparent pencil cases is you can see right through them.’

Another ‘Stig from Top Gear’ pencil case told us, ‘Sure, we occasionally have Tipp-Ex scribbles and doodled cocks on us but we have character. Where were the clear pencil cases when the kids were trading different parts of their Lamy fountain pens in their years of youth? All these transparent cases all look the same and they never immerse themselves in traditional English pencil case culture and values. Just because we we’re built to hold stationary, doesn’t mean our employment growth should be stationary too. We need work.’

For a many fabric pencil cases they thought they would be left on the side for the rest of their days, zipped up. Case closed. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel: for many, with the end of exams come the dawn of new jobs for opaque pencil cases.

Join us next week when we speak to an Evian water bottle label who was forced to resort to selling her body on the streets after losing her job during the examination season.