1917 beats the Irishman in prestigious ‘guys being dudes’ category

Although Parasite was the film of the night, winning Best Picture, Director, and Original Screenplay, there was another area of the awards ceremony which was arguably even more important. The world waited with bated breath for the winner in the highly-regarded ‘Guys Being Dudes’ category, an award exclusively for films with less than eight lines of female dialogue.

1917, Sam Mendes’ instalment in the Dunkirk franchise, was nominated alongside The Irishman, Scorcese’s innovative CGI horror movie, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Tarantino’s latest ultra-violent sexual fantasy imagining what the sixties would have looked like if Sharon Tate was mute. Ultimately, there had to be one winner, and it could only be 1917, the ultimate dude-fest. The academy was no doubt swayed by the sheer number of dudes on screen, just being typical guys, as they waded through mud, stabbed each other with bayonets and cried “cor blimey I hate this bloody war!”.

Martin Scorsese was a typically magnanimous dude in defeat. He told The Whip that he was “glad the award was going to a young, fresh talent.” He went on to give a sneak peek of his next movie, which he hoped might claim Oscars glory next year: “you guys’ll love it, it’s gonna be a CGI animated movie about an Italian boxer in New York starring Liam Neeson, who I’ve made to look like Leonardo DiCaprio.”