As another exam results day rolls around, the emotions in Leeds are mixed. Some are thrilled to breach the 70 mark, some are upset to not quite get 60, whereas some are just happy to pass. One such student is Connor Rhea – a sexually hyperactive second year who doesn’t quite understand the text he’s just received from his GP. We caught up with him whilst he was spreading some seeds outside the student union.
“Yeah, so results day was pretty toss. Managed to fail 3 out of 4 exams and the other one I forgot to hand in my coursework.
“Was considering dropping out to be honest with you – but then I got the golden text from my GP – my chlamydia test came back positive. That’s right ladies… I passed with flying colors.
“Can’t wait to tell my mum that my results weren’t all bad – she was fuming with me earlier.
“It’s just so nice to know that I don’t have to retake the Chlamydia test again during summer. Will probably choose a different STD test for next January – fuck knows how I got away with this one.”
The Whip just didn’t have the heart to tell him.