Leeds UK

‘You guys are gunna love this one,’ lies desperate Theatre student

Trust me!

Students nationwide are plagued by their friend’s extra-curricular commitments. Whether it be putting on sub-par events, hosting comedy nights, or scraping together enough instruments to form a ‘band’; students have an impressive capacity for forcing those around them to indulge in what they think constitutes a passion.

So, it came as a surprise to absolutely no one when third year Theatre and Performance student Alexander Virtuoso informed his friends that his next performance would be one they would actually like.

The Whip attempted to interview Alexander, however, he made it clear that he was only interested in communicating through placards. When finally prompted to respond to the questions verbally, he had the following to say:

“Honestly? No. I don’t think many of my friends are going to enjoy my solo-silent interpretation of Beckett’s Waiting for Godot.” Claimed Alexander, adjusting his turtleneck and chain for ‘dramatic effect’.

“But, as all of those who actually understand the performance space will tell you; it’s not about that. I’m not interested in the base reactions of pleasure and catharsis. I’m far too post-modern for that. But theatre, by definition, requires audience. My work must be observed, and so my acquaintances must attend – and I will be doing anything in my power to make sure they do.”

At this point Virtuoso ‘got into character.’ This consisted of him communicating only through physical actions seemingly based on those of a dying crab. Proving too patience testing, The Whip chose to investigate elsewhere – following up former housemate Harry Baffle.

“When we signed a house, people warned us that he was the most aggressively pretentious human being under the sun. Whilst initially he managed to convince he was just like every other bloke in Leeds, the requests started to snowball. What was ‘help me run my lines’ became ‘Why aren’t you listening to my bi-weekly sundown soliloquy’. And then, finally, asking us to pay money to come and see his shown – and expecting us to compliment him afterwards? We had to kick him out after that one.”

Virtuoso’s performance debuts at the Workshop Theatre this Thursday week: £23 a ticket.

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