Rehearsing for Stomp and 5 other things your upstairs neighbours are probably doing

We live in a world where you either face the gruelling climb all the way to the top or suffer at the hands of those above you. Whether it’s the pesky bourgeoisie or just your upstairs neighbours, the question on everyone’s mind is ‘just what the hell is going on up there?’. The Whip found some of the loudest people on campus and, despite the noise, tried our best to have a conversation with them. Here’s what they were doing:

1. Rehearsing for Stomp

Crash. Bang. TSHHHHH. All sounds you might be familiar with if you live below cult percussion group Stomp. Living near these guys is basically the audio equivalent of renting with Digs.

 

2. Appearing on DIY SOS

SHUT UP NICK KNOWLES I’M TRYING TO SLEEP

 

3. Crying

If you hear regular crying and basically no other noise, you probably live below a third year. They save money on make-up wipes by simply just crying the mascara away. Good for the environment, bad for your ears.

 

4. Running an elephant sanctuary

All 6 flatmates returned home from their ‘life-changing’ summer building houses in Africa with a stolen elephant. What you can hear above you is the distinctive hum of the white saviour complex… also elephants.

 

5. Shaggin’

You’re forced to listen to their sex playlist far more times than you’ve listened to yours and quite frankly you’re sad about it. You still fist bump them through the ceiling though, to show them you’re not (that) bitter.

 

6. “Yeah mate I DJ”

From Raggatek to Fidget House, every new genre they experiment with is somehow worse than the last. You can’t understand why people call the Hawthorns loud… it’s so quiet in there!