In a move of remarkable group altruism, it has been revealed that the entire student population of Oxley Halls have been planning to stem the spread of COVID-19 (formerly known as Coronavirus) since the start of this academic year.
In a noble bid to #flattenthecurve these students have not been in contact with anyone outside of their halls since enrolling in the university in September. Alone, and totally isolated, they have ensured that they will not be responsible for an outbreak amongst the Leeds student population.
The Whip was able to speak to Oxley resident Colin Ottoman over FaceTime to ask him the motivation behind this inspiring move.
What follows are the thoughts of COLIN – 18 – on how to prevent COVID-19.
“When I got here in Fresher’s week, I had a feeling it was going to be a lonely year. The long drive up the Otley Road – away from university, away from civilisation, away from modern medicine – I knew if I got ill, I’d have no means of communicating with the outside world.
“Over summer I’d read the collected works of sci-fi novelist Dean Koontz – and after his predictions of Wuhan-400 I just thought better safe than sorry, so took the brave step to never see anyone again.
“Seeing the complete dearth of guests that my other halls-mates were welcoming to Oxley, I knew that they had taken the same precaution, too.
“There is no chance that Coronavirus is going to affect Oxley – we haven’t seen anyone since our parents dropped us off in September, we are totally isolated and alone and there is literally no danger of us coming into contact with the outside world.
“There are even rumours that even if someone did contaminate the area, Oxley Halls are so cold and bleak that the virus wouldn’t be able to survive it anyway.
“Here at Oxley we take public health very seriously, and if being left – stranded and alone – in a godforsaken halls in the arse end of nowhere, closer to the Yorkshire Moors than Leeds city centre, is our way to flattening the curve, then I’m glad I can way we’ve done our bit.”