‘No, it’s not porn,’ The Fenton moves life drawing classes onto Skype

As the University continues to dilly-dally around regarding rearranged learning, Leeds’ most unassuming post-punk mecca is leading the way, The Whip can report. A strange melting pot of scared Central Villagers and scary city dwellers alike, The Fenton has now announced it shall be moving its much vaunted life drawing lessons online.

The ‘Bare Canvas’ life drawing class will take place as usual to the soundtrack of jukebox death-metal and occasional grunts from the model himself: Big Dave. Pub representatives say that they hope the audio-visual experience will not be too badly impacted by the move to Skype.

Such a sudden and fevered embrace of modern technology, from a pub still without functioning plumbing, may come as a surprise to many, but these truly are strange times.

Indeed, The Whip were able to catch up with Dave on Tuesday to trial the new fangled video-tech, and can confirm that, even online, the sensory ordeal is as vivid as ever.

“In a time of crisis, clarity is essential,” Dave began, spitting into his laptop microphone somewhat. “In the absence of any firm and decisive leadership, from either the university or government, we at The Fenton have taken matters into our own hands.

“First and foremost,” enthused Dave, “I am a muse. No, this is not pornography, this is art. And people need art in times like these. When stood prone before an easel, or a MacBook screen for that matter, Big Dave is no more – I become… Davros… Of course, secondly, admittedly, I also am a top tier local pub darts champion, and thirdly, yes, I guess, I am an alcoholic – but hey, hey now, we’re all a mess of contradictions.

“Anyway, seeing as though the darts and the alcohol are going to have to migrate into my shed with all this corona business, I figured I might as well take the life drawing al fresco and al interneto and whatnot too. Life (drawing) must go on!”