Today, local police enforcing the government’s social distancing rules were surprised to have to be the first to tell a man about the coronavirus crisis after one stoner left isolation to discover the entire country had been on lockdown for a month,
At home, dejected, Tom Brick put away his weed-leaf snapback in its pride-of-place – somewhere on the floor. “It’s a real shock to the system, is all. I’m as pissed as can be.
“Us stoners have been subject to a lot of shit over the years you know. Cos of our magic eyes, mandalas, dreadlocks and so on and so forthright, people are always chucking accusationaries (sic.) of cultural appropriation at us. But – my friends – it seems that it is a poisoned hacky sack. What goes sideways must also come back sideways, perhaps in an up and down arc, and sometimes sideways in the other direction. You’re all at it. Hippocrates (sic.).
“Our sedimentary (sic.) lifestyle is not up for grabs. All of you lazing about at home in your baggy sweats, your day pyjamas – our culture is not your costume.”