Christabelle Chumley-Seymour, 19 yahs of age, was relieved after her cheese and wine soirée only cost £10,400 (brie included!) to execute. The Whip managed to snag an exclusive interview with Christabelle as she was returning to Wills from an unofficial hunt in Leigh Woods to find out more.
“Pleasant day?” we asked. “Pheasant day if anything!” she guffawed. The ice was broken and talk of the previous evening’s fromage frenzy could begin.
“It was a rather spontaneous affair if I’m completely honest.” She adjusted her tweed blazer before continuing. “Before I knew it, I was half a wheel of Gruyère deep, guzzling my merlot like it was Echo Falls!. It was only a matter of time before talk of the dairy debauchery spread like quince jam through the halls.”
The campus security members who had been tasked to disband these Emmental enthusiasts described the scene as a “horrifying peek under the corduroy curtain — the fine didn’t even faze them!” Head security member Darren was ashen at the thought: “I wouldn’t be surprised if they did it again!”
Shocking stuff, but surely this would be the last instance of this reckless abandon?
“Yah we’ve deffo learnt our lesson! Next time the cheese will have to be left out, as Arabella is lactose intolerant but couldn’t resist the Camembert. She’s been chundering for hours!”
Well, you heard It here first folks: rich flavours, richer people, and richest by far in corona contact. 19 yahs of age for Christabelle is far too little time for any maturity to set in, unlike the vintage cheddar she consumed on the weekend.