Categories
Bristol Uncategorised

Wills care package to include quail eggs, foie gras and vintage 1787 Château Lafite

‘During a pandemic everyone has to make sacrifices’

Freshers self-isolating in Wills were relieved their care package of foie gras, caviar and oysters contained ‘all the basics students needed to survive the pandemic’. Other items included were saffron, a small chalet in Verbier and an unjustified feeling of superiority.

The Whip went to investigate this extravagance and unfortunately was able to get hold of Will’s fresher Hugo Granger, who’d been isolating since last Wednesday:

“Ah yah, well just because we’re in self-isolation doesn’t mean we should have to starve!” guffawed Hugo.

“To be honest when the care package first arrived I didn’t really know what to do with all these raw ingredients.  At home I only ever eat ready meals – meals made ready for me by the chef – so it took some time to work out what to do with all the ingredients. More often than not, I’ll send for a city centre fresher who’ll cook the food for me.

“It’s disappointing the university didn’t think to include private staff in the care package but during a pandemic everyone has to make sacrifices.”

Meanwhile Tilly, an entirely unique person reading Art History, had slightly stronger thoughts about the contents of the care package- “more like ‘unfair package!’. It seems like no care went into making it at all. The Cabernet Sauvignon hasn’t been aged for long enough, and don’t get me started on the Gruyere.”

Though stoic individuals like Tilly are disappointed at the contents of the package, they’re still faring better than Baddock freshers, whose packages included ket, rollies and tinnies. Well, needs must I guess.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *