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Premier League makes crowd noise more realistic by adding recording of racist geezer shouting

What do we think of tolerance? Shit!

Head of the Premier League, Garry Hoffman, just made a controversial addition to the sport we all know and love. Nobody could quite place what was missing, but by god something just didn’t feel right. I mean sure, I’m as happy as the next Carling drinker about the return of sports, but I couldn’t shake this nagging feeling in the back of my head. Where was the passion? The zeal? The all consuming fervour that whips up the everyman into a frenzy so intense that…..

And then it hit me! Like a penny to Rio Ferdinand’s head, I got it! Where were the racist slurs!?

‘You don’t miss it until its gone’ —  I was catching up with All Stars Bar regular Johnnie Gleese on Infantino’s bold new move. ‘Tremendous job he’s done!’ He glugs his pint. ‘Football is back! It’s like I’m there, absolutely fuckin’ electric atmosphere!’ I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

‘Surely this is a bit ridiculous’, I said. ‘I mean it’s basically promoting racism, we don’t need it to be that real…’ I felt that maybe I had pushed it a touch far with this comment, but luckily a totally “outrageous” call from the referee redirected his anger towards the TV.

‘Oh FUCK OFF REF!’

I felt that maybe this was my cue to leave. Goodbye my sweet narrow minded prince.

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