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Nevada: ‘I’m here for a long time not a good time’

What a tease

We live in a society. Big and scary; fast and flashy; sometimes sexy? But that’s enough about me, let’s get back to this so-called society. It is, as many leading sociologists like to term it, and that XR bloke who nabbed your four pack of Scrumpies at the last Avonmouth free party, a fucking capitalist hellscape. We buy, sell, buy, sell, sell.. sell.. buy… We rush around in our crumpled, knock-off suit and claggy-with-the-condensation-of-foot Skechers combination, consume the reduced egg and cress sandwich, and thrust the adult scooter (cheeky) into our pathetic little recruitment job. We pen love letters ‘to the girl with hair on her head’ in the commuter crush section of the Metro and pore over crumpled father / daughter thrillers that are Taken AGAIN! It’s shite. It’s fast-paced and it’s shite. We’re all tired of, if you can pardon the Millennial phrasing, adulting.

A certain geographical land mass is also tired, and has decided to take a backseat in this brisk world. We caught up with absolute tease, the state of Nevada, who has been longing out the vote count for probably at least several decades at this point:

‘Mate, I’m just straight up vibing’, the state expressed. ‘My therapist told me to really just take life a day at a time, so every day I wake up and I count a singular vote – just the one 🙂 – then crack on with meditating. Once I’ve done my daily dose of Himalayan throat singing, occasional primal scream therapy if my Chi is particularly off that morning, I book in for a ketogenic, non-violent acupuncture session. Do you know how many needles it takes to cover 286,382 km2of terrain? Quite a few, I’m thinking.’

When asked if taking all this time for themselves has been beneficial for their wellbeing, the state responded simply: ‘no, not really.’ ‘I’ve been using all of this time to try and relax but I can’t help but feel like there’s something else that I should be doing… Something serious. Not sure what, I’m undecided at the moment. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see ;).’

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