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Self-isolating? Here are 6 easy recipes to help you dissociate from reality

2. Existential Cris-eggs: Try whipping up some eggs and thinking, “What is the point?”

Just found out you have to imprison yourself at home? Then it’s time to get stir-crazy! Here are some of my favourite self-isolation recipes which never fail to make me feel all warm and cosy.

1.) Tears on toast

Very simple, perfect for beginners. You only need two ingredients; self-hatred and bread (any kind). Great for those loathsome mornings you wish never had begun. 

2.) Existential Cris-eggs 

Ever need a moment to contemplate your entire existence? Try whipping up some eggs and thinking, “What is the point?” Make it vegan by substituting the eggs with tofu and trepidation.

3.) Vitamin D

Easy life-hack. If you’re starting to look pale and feel sluggish, then try standing in the few rays of sunlight that manage to pierce through your closed blinds. Couldn’t recommend this enough!

4.) Your housemate’s cereal

Ah, the forbidden fruit. There’s nothing like the added rush of adrenaline from theft to kick start your mornings.

5.) Cabin Fever Curry

When I’m starting to feel especially claustrophobic and irritated by everything, I love to make this and have everyone around to witness my emotional shortcomings. This meal is also great for batch cooking, which will save you a bunch of time for staring blankly at the damp walls that temporarily confine you.

6.) Why-wont-anybody-love-me Pie

This one is particularly special when eaten alone in front of a mirror. Can be sweet or savoury!

Whip Tip: try sticking to one of these recipes for every meal for consistency and routine. This is key for blending all your days into one and losing grip of reality.

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