Hyde Park burglars’ ‘Bring your child to work’ day gets out of hand
The most significant existential threat to peace in Leeds since those kids with fireworks last week.
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 4Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form