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‘It’s just capitalism 😜’ : Boris submits Bristruth defending religious holiday bias

‘Heart react for Christianity,
Surprise react for any of those other ones’

Coronavirus, Christmas and capitalism have become the holy trinity of posting topics on ‘Bristruths’ over the past few weeks with students divided over the relaxed restrictions.

While the university’s minority non-tory community have been voicing their concerns over a racist religious bias, the boys in blue have been (thankfully) right at hand to reassure concerned liberals that it’s not, in fact, racism but instead just lovely delicious capitalism. Scrummy!

Among those who took to the ‘platform’ to replenish government support was none other than PM Boris Johnson, who spammed the page over the last few days with the following submissions:


‘Let’s settle this once and for all, which religions deserve respect?

Heart react for Christianity, Surprise react for any of those other ones’


‘Caring about the economy more than people’s lives IS a substitute for a personality! How would poor people get money problems if there was no economy in the first place?

Yours sincerely, a confused Prime Minister’


‘Any of my fellow British citizens have experience renting with Digs? Have at least 6 spare children to stash away’


‘Correct ranking of all the political parties

God Tier: The conservative party

Deserve to be taken out hunting and shot Tier: All the rest of those dirty commies’


‘Lots of love to CS, definitely my favourite wife so far’


‘The Eton uniform stays ON during intercourse’

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