Durex releases hazmat suit with built-in condom

This article was written in affiliation with Durex condomery. 

Occasionally there are technological developments that truly break the mould of what we as a the human race thought was possible. Ideas are the bedrock, nay the pillars, of civilisation, propping up a richly gilded pediment of human accomplishment and history. Penicillin, electricity, sliced bread and now this…

The Hazmat-Shag-Bag is looking to be the most innovative and creative technological development of the 21st century – move over Steve Jobs!

I caught up with one key figures of the Durex team who lead this bold new thrust into modernity, Willie Covett. ‘We wanted something multifunctional, reusable and practical.’ The latex onesie squeaked against Covett’s chair as he shifted forward in excitement ‘From the sheets to the streets, 100 percent protection anytime, anywhere.’

Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but have out reservations despite the all too eager Willie singing its praises. I decided to nab a Hazmat-Shag-Bag for myself and dive into the experience head first.

Here are my two cents:

This is not an item you can just slip into. This wetsuit of cling film is, (surprise surprise), anything but breathable- but  undoubtedly worth it. Though I’ve suffered four overheating induced faints in one day, I’ve never felt more protected. It does take some getting used to, largely on the part of the people who see you. My friends and family were mildly surprised when I sauntered in looking like a beekeeper-gimp but even they couldn’t deny the functionality.

Get yours today, and feel what its like to be fully protected- and suffer the hottest stroke of your life…