Bristol UK

‘Old soul’, bigot and other synonyms

Some people were born *different*

They describe themselves as wise beyond their years, unable to follow the norms of mainstream culture. So defiant against being ordinary, they even call themselves… an “old soul”. But what does this mean in the twenty-first century? The Whip looked at some alleged Old Souls to learn more about their hardships…

As History fresher Jemima Crow recently confessed to Instagram, “I actually bond better with old people than people my own age. I yearn to listen about stories of how things used to be.” Fascinating stuff.

Don’t get us wrong, Octogenarians can be lovely, but to bond with them more than your own generation…perhaps a bit suspicious. Going from their twitter feed, Crow has been spending a lot of time sympathising with Maggie Thatch; it’s the xenophobia and misogyny for her.

Another student, who wished to remain anonymous to stay off ‘the grid’ says, “I would definitely call myself a lone wolf, I’d rather be alone than have superficial relationships.” Wow good for you, Aquarius. Think we’ll have to pass on the old mansplaining today.

Finally, third year student Graham shared some of his enlightenment, “I’m always questioning everything, like, I love asking everyone where they’re from”. Ahh no thanks Graham- perhaps try and keep the questioning to yourself.

Shucks, maybe we’re just envious of their spiritual enlightenment and emotional stability, or maybe the smell of their bullshit is just too strong…but some things just need to stay in the past.

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