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3 Wise Men Miss Travel Window; Forced to Remain in Lupton for Christmas


The Christmas student travel window, the joyous icing on the cake after a term of restrictions and happiness-destroying government policies, has now drawn to a close.

Unbeknownst to many students, however, is that the window had no room for negotiation and has now been slammed shut, bolted and barred as a Hyde Park house window so often isn’t.

In a festive turn of events, amongst those confined to student accommodation are the three wise men. Less than halfway through their annual piss-up tour to Bethlehem the kings have found themselves in a mid-range, shared bathroom, single room surrounded by students who have forgotten what the city of Leeds looks like.

Unfortunate for the students and wise men alike, not only has the M62 been lined with student-spotting snipers but the M6 has sniffer dogs at every lay-by, trained to sense the slightest whiff of 2in1 shampoo on a Leeds boy’s head upon their late escape from James Baillie.

The Whip caught up with all three wise men for a comment on this dangerously depressing situation: Unfortunately, no one here at The Whip speaks ancient arameic so we were unable to understand a word they were saying.

We can confirm that the three wise men are making good use of their time in Lupton by creating their own Soundcloud rap group and teaching trapped students how to get creative with bottles of myrrh. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, after all. 

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