Parents demand gift receipt for the disappointment you’ll give them at Christmas
Struggling to find a gift for your parents this holiday season? Don’t worry, you’ve already given them more than enough! It’s a yearly struggle to find the perfect gift for your guardians, but they’re definitely more interested in your short comings than anything you scrounge up last minute. On that note, fuck the gift, let’s try and make things as impossible as ever.
Why not start off by bringing up your graduation prospects, beat them to the punch. In this economic climate, it’s a recipe for success. It’s all about controlling the narrative this festive season.
Maybe this year it’s time to embrace the teen-angst personality you manage to adopt whenever you step foot inside your family home. Let’s get ANGRY for no particular reason. Someone making a comment about your appearance? Scream uncontrollably like a domestic Flashbang.
Picture this, you’re feeling boozy at the dinner table, the conversation is feeling a little dry… no better time to bring up your opposing socio-political views. Pass the brussels sprouts and let’s talk imperialism. Any senior member of the family will surely choke.
If you’re feeling especially devious or trapped into an uncomfortable conversation that needs to end, it’s time to wear those skeleton’s hanging in the family closet. Like a bat out of hell, throw that drama bomb and run away.
You can truly become a treat to have around. Whatever family traditions you have over the winter holidays, I’m sure there will be ample opportunity to create some scandal. Here’s to the gift they can’t possibly return… you!
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