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‘What are we even paying for’ says student with 23% attendance

“I can only imagine how angry I’d be if my parents weren’t paying for my fees”

Petitions, protests and posting in the group formerly known as ‘Leeds Uni Tickets’. These are just some of the ways students have been holding this irksome government to account. But one particularly passionate Facebook rant posted late last night has left Nick Clegg quaking in his boots. 

The post garnered many reactions, several comments and even a few shares. But news emerged this morning that casts doubt over the validity of the complaint. Our sources this morning reported that the author, Kat Shelton, boasts an attendance record of just 23%.

This morning we caught up with Kat, who could not remember what course she is on. 

“I just think the University should be doing more. I want more. I’m not sure what exactly, but I definitely want more of it. 9 grand a year for what? A couple of contact hours, avoiding all my formative assessments and never submitting essay plans? I can only imagine how angry I’d be if my parents weren’t paying for my fees.”

“I don’t think my attendance is relevant, if anything it’s something of a protest. If I don’t go to seminars I’m basically sticking two fingers up at the Vice Chancellor, which is cool. I’m the Yoko Ono of Leeds, I’m on a 12 week bed-in. Not a slacker, because slackers aren’t political”

What this poetic expression of anger means for the future of tuition fees, The Whip can only speculate. One thing for sure however, all attendance emails will be ignored. 

When asked if she turned her camera on in seminars, Kat simply replied “no comment”.

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