Read the recommended readings. READ THEM AND UNDERSTAND THEM!

Blackboard breakout room spirals into absolute chaos after that one self-professed Etonian einstein (others call him the dickhead in Dickies, or simply Smelly as he rarely changes out of his lacrosse kit) attempts to take control of the session, in spite of being a general dipshit who just happens to have an RP accent. The Whip reports.

“Will you stop talking” talked the student who never stops talking, via the medium of talking, with mouth and sound and talk and whatnot. “Will you please listen? It is not for the student who actually does all the work to decide a point of order – you have no authority here, Helpful and Good Seminar Contributor!”

This attempt at an insurrection by Big Talker angered Helpful and Good Seminar Contributor. She knew that he only skimmed the first, last and middle pages of his reading so he had more time to be a legend — the odd bit of shagging, drinking, occasional chunder into a loafer before necking it… almost like how a mummy bird feeds its children. Beautiful.

In her rage, albeit calm and collected on her pixelated surface, she evicted him from the summit. Big Talker sobbed onto his iPad — “but, but, but… I’m posh! You can’t kick me out for being posh. That’s classist isn’t it?”

“She’s kicked him out! She’s kicked him out!” exclaimed the Big Talker’s ally, Little Contribution. It was then that he, reader of few, bullshitter of many, suggested that she was the ill-read one.

“I take charge! Read the recommended readings – read them and understand them!”

He was soon promptly exiled. Democracy: 2. Home counties blokes who chat shite in seminars: 0.

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