5 of The Whip’s more questionable articles
We at The Whip recently received a scathing piece of criticism about the quality of our articles and, quite frankly, they’re absolutely right. Here are 5 of our more questionable ones:
1. ‘Big Pharma’ not in fact a massive agriculturalist
This one is just SILLY! Who would confuse pharmaceuticals with a farmer?
2. Durex releases hazmat suit with built-in condom
You should never joke about safe sex. We’re really sorry that happened.
3. We ranked the top 10 dogging spots on campus so Bristruths didn’t have to
Yet another sex joke…. fucking degenerates
4. Timpsons to be recognised as key workers
A pun? groundbreaking
5. BREAKING: Do not react; you are the saboteur
This show went downhill after the woman’s lipstick changed colour and we all know it. Should’ve boycotted.
Wonder which was the straw that broke the camel’s back?
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 4Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form