Duke of Sussex renamed ‘Duke of Sex’ after second child announcement
Not long after Meghan and Harry announced their second pregnancy, the disgusted Royal family have taken revenge on the pair and renamed the historical County of Sussex, ‘Sex’.
As the couple rejoiced in sunny California, the mood in Balmoral was somber. The Whip exclusively reports that senior Royals met at the castle to discuss their ‘next move’ on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Camilla had long played with the idea of renaming counties as a joke, yet when she suggested it this time, the Queen’s eyes lit up at the thought of utterly embarrassing the love-infected young couple.
The announcement of the new county of Sex has had a mixed response so far. The likes of the Conservative government blindly have praised the Royals, calling it ‘the sickest prank of all time’ with Keir Starmer ‘standing by the government, but thinks more should be done’.
Much of the public, however, was outraged. County residents have reported ‘intense embarrassment’ as many institutions have now had to change their names, such as the new: University of Sex and the Sex County Cricket Club, shortened to ‘Sex Club’, which has brought a new, largely unwanted yet strangely embraced, erotic element to the previously ‘unsexy’ sport.
We asked the Duke of York, Prince Andrew, to comment on calls for York to be renamed: ‘Big Fat Nonce’, ‘You’re a Fucking Nonce’ and ‘NonceTown’ but the nonce refused to comment.
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 4Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form