New in UK
Symptoms reportedly include making sourdough and shaving your head
“The government is considering using a wardrobe, or a large cupboard of the sort usually reserved for storing mops and brooms.”
‘Is your mother still with me, son?’
Riding his trusty nag hard through the day and night, Rees-Mogg arrived at Downing Street just as dawn broke over London.
Quaff the smelling salts sire!
Better safe than sorry
Plush unicorn Sir Sparkles Fuzzypants told us his side of the story.
Prince Andrew says he could not have given Charles coronavirus as he was ‘enjoying a take-away from Pizza Express Woking’
An alibi as watertight as a Falklands veteran’s skin
A two-birds-with-one-bastard solution.
UK's Most popular
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 5Fields of wheat quaking in their roots now May has more time on her hands