New in UK
Sourdough’s and doughn’ts for our brave new world
Cock of the north.
This morning, on broad footpaths up and down the country, middle-aged men stood pointedly to the side of trails. From Bolton to Bermondsey, they could
“I was getting quite fed up with all these virtual pub experiences. Where’s the sweet, sweet smell of urinal cake in the stagnant breeze?”
“I’d understand him skipping SAGE, that sounds a bit herbal, bit preachy. But COBRA? COBRA’s totally punk-rock.”
The weed leaf snapback has to go away until next year.
Symptoms reportedly include making sourdough and shaving your head
“The government is considering using a wardrobe, or a large cupboard of the sort usually reserved for storing mops and brooms.”
‘Is your mother still with me, son?’
UK's Most popular
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 5Fields of wheat quaking in their roots now May has more time on her hands